The 45 Deaths Of Doctor Who

Note: Originally posted to Livejournal by Derooftrouser and recently deleted from there for some reason, I’m reposting this here from Wayback Machine (thanks to @philsandifer for the link) to preserve its existence on the web. People have suggested it be updated, but I’ll leave that task to someone else.

Following the interesting response to my previous post about a minor production detail that won’t affect viewers in the slightest, I have been inspired to come up with a list of dates on which fans no doubt claimed that ‘Doctor Who died’ for them.

I did have a think to work out if I agreed with any of them, but then realised – no, of course not. Doctor Who’s all about change and renewal. It’ll never die. Ever.

Please point out any I may have missed.

21/12/1963 – Silly robot monsters introduced into informative historical series. Doctor Who dies.

22/05/1965 – The terrifying Daleks are depicted as bumbling idiots. Doctor Who dies.

09/10/1965 – The fans are insulted by an episode without the Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

22/10/1966 – William Hartnell leaves. Doctor Who dies.

01/07/1967 – The final destruction of the Daleks. Doctor Who dies.

24/04/1968 – The series runs out of ideas and uses two monsters twice in the same series. Doctor Who dies.

21/06/1969 – The mystery of the Doctor’s people is ruined. Doctor Who dies.

03/01/1970 – The whole point of the show is jettisoned as the Doctor begins his exile on Earth. Doctor Who dies.

23/06/1973 – Jo leaves, breaking the irreplaceable magic between companion and Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

28/12/1974 – The new Doctor is a goggle-eyed nutjob. Doctor Who dies.

19/04/1975 – The Cybermen go all rubbish. Doctor Who dies.

23/10/1976 – Sarah-Jane leaves, breaking the irreplaceable magic between companion and Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

30/10/1976 – The Time Lords are depicted as doddery old men. Doctor Who dies.

22/10/1977 – A gimmicky robot dog joins the TARDIS crew. Doctor Who dies.

11/03/1978 – Leela leaves, breaking the irreplaceable magic between companion and Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

01/09/1979 – Romana leaves, breaking the irreplaceable magic between companion and Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

15/11/1980 – A whiny boy joins the TARDIS crew. Doctor Who dies.

24/01/1981– Romana and K-9 leave, breaking the irreplaceable magic between companions and Doctor. Doctor Who dies.

21/03/1981 – The best Doctor ever is replaced by a vet. Doctor Who dies.

04/01/1982 – The Saturday tea-time slot is abandoned. Doctor Who dies.

02/03/1982 – The producers forget to put aliens in a story. Doctor Who dies.

16/03/1982 – The Doctor fails to save a much-loved companion. Doctor Who dies.

25/11/1983 – The First Doctor is re-cast and Tom Baker doesn’t turn up. Doctor Who dies.

23/02/1984 – A new companion is brought in just to fill a bikini. Doctor Who dies.

22/03/1984 – The new Doctor is a psychopath in a clown outfit. Doctor Who dies.

05/01/1985 – The classic twenty-five minute format is abandoned. Doctor Who dies.

01/11/1986 – Bonnie. Langford. Doctor Who dies.

07/09/1987 – The new Doctor is a buffoon in an ugly pullover. Doctor Who dies.

02/11/1988 – The Doctor fights Bertie Bassett. Doctor Who dies.

06/12/1989 – The show ends its twenty-six year run. Doctor Who dies.

27/05/1996 – The Doctor kisses his companion. Americans are involved. Doctor Who dies.

25/05/2004 – A former teen singer is revealed as the companion. Doctor Who dies.

31/03/2005 – The Doctor quits after one episode has been broadcast. Doctor Who dies.

25/12/2005 – The new Doctor spends all his time in bed. Doctor Who dies.

17/06/2006 – A Doctor-light episode is an exploration of the notions of fandom and the human experience. Doctor Who dies.

08/07/2006 – An actress with her own sketch show is revealed as the companion for the Christmas special. Doctor Who dies.

16/06/2007 – The Master is turned into a raving loony. Doctor Who dies.

02/07/2007 – A former teen singer is revealed as the companion for the Christmas special. Doctor Who dies.

03/07/2007 – The actress with her own sketch show is revealed as the companion for Series Four. Doctor Who dies.

03/09/2007 – A Christmas special, four specials for 2009 and a whole series for 2010 are confirmed. Doctor Who dies.

25/12/2007 – For the first time ever, the show is the most watched of the week. It is also the second-highest rated program of the year and the Audience Appreciation index is 86. Doctor Who dies.

29/10/2008 – The best Doctor ever announces he is leaving. Doctor Who dies.

04/01/2009 – The new Doctor is revealed to be a young male actor. Doctor Who dies.

29/05/2009 – The new companion is revealed to be a young female actor. Doctor Who dies.

06/10/2009 – The logo people originally criticised for having too much lens flare is replaced by one that people criticise for having too much lens flare. Doctor Who dies.

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